Okay, do I even need to say it? I’m the best at what I do. And what I do is fabulous. Not bad for a mere secretary and or personal assistant. I’m certainly bringing this office into the 21st century, even if some people have to be dragged kicking and screaming.
Now that we’ve scored that huge business deal (thanks to my timely intervention), it looks like we’ll need to be stepping up our game if we want to thrive. That means no more cheap staplers from K-Mart, no more water cooler water bought from the $2 shop and we need a better car pool system. After all, we want to make it seem as if we care for our employees. Which we do, obviously. That’s why I’ve hatched a scheme. One employee every week will win a free limousine ride, courtesy of our Melbourne stretch limo hire people that I haven’t looked up yet but don’t worry, we WILL have such people. You can get stretch limousines in Melbourne, right? Yeah, you must be able to. Anyway, the employee of the month will have a day where they’re brought into work by a limo, then dropped back at the end of the day. The company will stock the minibar, and within reasonable limits, they can have people travelling with them.
This will obviously encourage people to strive for excellence, so as to feel the more magnificent excellence as arriving at work in a limousine and being the talk of the office. Not to mention people will generally be nicer to each other, so as to insert themselves into each other’s good graces and thus gain a free limo ride with their newly acquired friends. Really, I’m a genius, at least in the field of personal assistance. Now we can watch as productivity rises, workplace relations improve and people really strive to make this company the best it can be…all thanks to our Melbourne limo hire friends. Who I am going to look up and call at some point, I swear.
-Sandrine