Finally, the office is mine again! All mine!
Well, almost. Those miscreants have poisoned the minds of the employees so that they value each other and their well-being, and sometimes chat about their lives when they could be doing work. I can’t have them actually valuing each other as human beings! Productivity will plummet! They must be drones, or nothing at all. Perhaps I should increase the staff turnover. Naturally, my convenient ice skating rink injury plan was a complete failure, because Mack as per usual turned out to be brilliant at it even with the faulty skates I set up for him to wear. I managed to temporarily get them out of the way, and no they’re learning all about Brisbane companies that do tree felling and why properly cleared land is the key to ultimate success. Or something. I really didn’t take much time to check, instead choosing the most irrelevant conference I could find and booking the worst employees tickets. Now they’re out of my hair, and I can start putting things back to the way they should be.
The biggest danger at this point is that they’ll come back all refreshed, with their heads full of ideas about firewood and mulch and…other things, whatever they have to do with it all. The goal was to send them on a wild goose chase. After all, our office has nothing to do with tradespeople, or tree stumps…I barely managed to justify it to management, saying that we needed to ‘branch into other areas’. They’re idiots anyway, so they ate up everything I said.
And now I have a bit of time. Thing is, a few of them might suspect something is up. Worse, they might come back and insist that they present their newly-found ideas to the group, wasting an afternoon on a seminar about companies that do stump removal in Brisbane and why we should be expanding our horizons as a company. I’ll prepare countermeasures. I’ve done too much work to have afternoons wiled away in drivel! Not that I have anything against land clearing. So clean, and neat…the way the land should be.
-Sandrine