Music makes everything better, if you ask me. Nobody ever does, but perhaps they don’t have to, because music speaks for itself. Often I’ll forego saying hello to people in favour of simply waltzing into a room playing actual waltz music. The jaunty air lets everyone know that I want to be there, and I’m clearly doing fine thank you.
See how easy it is? All I have to do is carry my portable speaker bar with me everywhere I go, and I’m totally golden to express my emotions without having to talk, because music has power. It worked just great at Great Auntie Clarabelle’s funeral, where I sat at the back with ‘Danse Macabre’ playing the whole time. Quietly. And then we travelled elsewhere in Melbourne, last will and testament to be read out at a specific location chosen by the old girl herself, and I managed to keep everyone spirits up with a rousing tune of ‘On the Beautiful Blue Danube’. In my opinion, it’s a piece that gloriously proclaims the joys of this life, and how we should move on from death and embrace the time we have left. The only problem was the solicitor telling me to make it a bit quieter because he was trying to read out the will. It wasn’t even that loud! Anyway, Auntie Clarabelle left me her record player and all of her records, which was thrilling. I know it’s terribly cliche, but there’s a certain sound to vinyl that is simply titillating to the ears. I’d carry a record player around all the time, were it a feasible option. Instead, the reading of the will had to be accompanied by a modern speaker. I suppose they do their best…
Speaking of which, the entire affair really had given me pause for thought. I need to find my OWN executor of will in Melbourne somewhere, because right now nobody knows what to play at my funeral. I have the playlist in my head, of course. We’re starting off with ‘Waltz of the Snowflakes’, naturally. I will make them feel the emotion of my passing!
-Gustav