I’ve been trying to get out of these woods for ages now, but nobody seems willing to give a lift to a gorilla. I’m definitely going to miss that kid’s birthday party. If only I knew how to communicate with humans properly. What hand signals do they use to ask for a lift? Am I even capable of giving such hand signs, with my big gorilla hands? I felt like I got close with that guy driving through here yesterday, but even with me sitting on a tree he didn’t bother to pull over and ask what was going on. Because of my psychic powers, I knew everything about him except how to get him to pull over. He was wondering whether I was even real and whether he’d need a car air conditioning service, in case the air being pushed out was warping his mind.
I’ve been stuck here for about a week now. My car broke down at the edge of the woods, while I was on my way to Chucky’s birthday party. I don’t know how long human birthday parties last, but I assume I have probably missed it at this point. Even so, I’ll continue holding on to these balloons just in case. Oh, if only I could get my car to a mechanic in the Frankston area. If only someone would give me a lift! While I can type perfectly well in English on my phone, I can’t actually speak the language. And unfortunately, reading thoughts doesn’t help me communicate much.
There haven’t been many people driving through these woods, and the few that have, tried to ignore me. Both of those young women driving through here were thinking about how they wanted to get as far away from me as possible because they didn’t want to miss their Christmas party. Why does everybody assume that I mean any sort of harm? I’d never want to hurt a human. I just want a lift to Chucky’s birthday party!