The internet is a confusing place to look for advice. Some sites tell me one thing, and others give me conflicting guidance. Even something as simple as getting a stain off the floor can cause some giant flame wars…and on top of all that, you might not even get the answer to YOUR specific question. Sometimes it just needs a human touch, not a Buzzfeed article. Buzzfeed is terrible for practical advice, anyway.
So, getting a stain off the floor. Getting multiple stains off the floor. I had a bit of a problem last night, and since then I’ve been ringing every commercial floor scrubber place in Sydney to see if they can help. I think this problem goes way beyond a simple ride on problem, however. You see, we had our annual mud dance at the local hall last night. It’s exactly like a barn dance, or maybe a bush dance, except you have to bring heavy duty shoes and cover them in mud before you come in. We have a strong tradition in my family, given that we come from a clan of mud farmers, so we wanted to share the joys of the mud dance with the community. Naturally, I had a power sweeper on standby, because even a hard floor can be difficult to scrub afterwards without some equipment. Still, I accepted the risks. A mud dance is supposed to be a celebration of mud and its place in our lives; once all the guests have danced, we all go to the edge of the room and look out at the beautiful mud mosaic that was created by our joy.
Except this time, the function hall had been carpeted…and I didn’t know. Who carpets a function hall, really?? I couldn’t cancel the event, it’s a local mainstay. So I just stood there with my power sweeper, watching people come in a smear filth all over the carpet, knowing I’d have to clean it up. Even a fleet of Sydney’s best floor scrubbing machines are going to struggle with this one. I’ll be here for a while…