Today Mads called me and said she needed someone with “my expertise” to come over and help her out. Now that’s an almost word-for-word quote, which I just wanted to write down before I completely forget, because to say I was confused after hearing that would be a giant understatement. My expertise? I don’t have any expertise (unless you count making coffee and dealing with rude customers) and her tone was kind of freaking me out. She sounded completely panicked.
So there I was, zooming over to her place, breaking the speed limit at every turn, thinking she’d been assaulted or something. I ran up the stairs to her house, ding-donged and banged on her door like a lunatic, thinking there was some kind of immediate danger. Our conversation went like this: *put together Mads opens the door and smiles* “thank God you’re here. I broke one of the timber windows”. “Melbourne has speed cameras everywhere these days and I sped over there for what?”
Yep. If you got the feeling from that I was mad, you wouldn’t be wrong. After explaining that I’d thought she was dying or something, I had to accept that, well, timber is kind of my area of expertise, what with dad and everything. She wasn’t wrong to help me, most of the time I can help with that kind of thing. Grudgingly, I followed her through the house and had a bit of a look at what had happened. Mads came up with some bull story about a bird, but the glass was shattered the wrong way so that was obviously a lie. Not that it mattered to me, she was probably just rehearsing the story so she could fool her parents later. I explained that getting a sash window replacement in Melbourne was going to take a couple of days, but since her parents weren’t coming back for another two weeks, she had plenty of time. I stayed to ‘clean up’ (which mostly consisted of eating her food) and then helped her practice the lie a couple more times. What can I say? I’m a good friend.