You probably know how it feels, trying to sleep the night before a big day. So many thoughts bouncing round and round in your head, planning, preparation, worries about what’s going to go horribly wrong. It’s even worse when you’re planning something inaugural. No precedent or anything. Still, I was sustained by my belief that this is going to be great. Not just great. Really great.
Tamworth has so much history that people just pass by. It’s Australia, so many assume that we HAVE no history and they just come for the horse barns. Tamworth residents will tell you otherwise, however. In fact, there’s a story for every nook and cranny, and with so many coming to the place to see the horse capital, we’re launching an initiative to reveal it to the world. We’ve been gathering stories, training tour guides and generally trying to make the best tour this city has ever seen. The horse shed tours are great, and the certainly bring in the numbers, but this will do even more. For the first time, Hidden Tamworth is going to reveal our proud history to outsiders. And no, it’s not all horse-related. There’s plenty for all ages.
I sound like I’m trying to plug the whole thing. Which I am, of course…I want everyone to come along and see for themselves! The time has never been better for a visit to Tamworth, because you’ll be one of the people who get the inside goss. In fact, I’m predicting that quite a few local residents will be wanting to take the tour on account of needing to know more about the place in which they live. Wide appeal, that’s what it’s all about. We’ll still be known as the horse capital, but also…maybe something to do with history. Tamworth: horse sheds are not the only thing in town. But those are good too, and very important.
I’ve been looking for some decent, unsullied woodlands for SO long. Now, I finally land upon some of it going for a killer price, just because some kid doesn’t want most of his inheritance! Jackpot. See, most people aren’t keen on woodlands, and that’s understandable. There’s not much you can do with them, especially when the trees are densely packed and it’s going to cost you millions to get rid of all of them. At least, millions without the aid of a convenient forest fire, and then you have to deal with all the ashes. I’ve already talked to every 
I don’t have time to deal with the demands of people who aren’t tech-savvy. I’m a strong, confident, technologically-capable app designer, and my blood pressure is way down after people started getting the hint that they can ask Siri to set alarms and make appointments. Or Google Now. Or possibly Cortana, though it’s universally agreed that Siri is more efficient than the other two put together.
It’s tough to not be a proud parent, even when your children are walking down paths in life that others think are a bit…shady. For example, when your son gets involved with some awful-sounding group on the internet who do bad things to people, you might think I was horrified. But Cecil has always had a strong moral compass, so I trusted that he was doing the right thing. How often do we see it in the news, a random person everybody hated, rising up to be the hero? I was sort of counting on that.
I’m sad to say that sometimes I have to be ‘that guy’. So when I’m at the movies and something happens that I don’t understand, I just have to ask someone, even if they’re just random people sitting next to me. Hey, if they get it and I don’t, why not? I really need to know, like right then, otherwise I lose track of what’s happening and none of it is enjoyable. Like, just last night I went to see 
ic about seeing sweet old people around, don’t you think? Not romantic in the eros sense between a man and a woman *coughs awkwardly into oblivion* but romantic in the literary sense. Like the romantic era. You know what I mean. It’s sweet and old fashioned.
The internet is a confusing place to look for advice. Some sites tell me one thing, and others give me conflicting guidance. Even something as simple as getting a stain off the floor can cause some giant flame wars…and on top of all that, you might not even get the answer to YOUR specific question. Sometimes it just needs a human touch, not a Buzzfeed article. Buzzfeed is terrible for practical advice, anyway.
I’m so tech illiterate, it’s barely funny. Don’t ask my children, though, because they think it’s the funniest thing since…I don’t know, that meme of the old lady being utterly confused as she stares at the computer screen. How do I know about that meme, but am also the person in that meme? That’s a bit of a conundrum.
Okay, do I even need to say it? I’m the best at what I do. And what I do is fabulous. Not bad for a mere secretary and or personal assistant. I’m certainly bringing this office into the 21
I didn’t do so well in geography back in school, but I’m pretty sure Yugoslavia isn’t a country any more. Google agrees with me, which just makes this new, supposedly-Yugoslavian guy all the more irritating. He just came marching into the ice skating rink like he was a three-time gold medal winner and said he was looking for the greatest ice skating instructor in Melbourne. I just work at the desk, so yeah…not something I know. I can tell you where to find the best